Dumb Criminals: Man drives car through sex shop to steal sex toy

in Miscellaneous by negrostotle — September 8, 2009 at 11:22 am | 0 comments

Where do I even begin on this one?

Lets just go straight to the Chronicle Telegram,

BROWNHELM TWP. — The thief who crashed his car through AdultMart here early Wednesday knew exactly what he wanted: He picked up a $300 sex toy, discarded it for a smaller, less expensive model and then drove off — all of which was captured quite clearly on security video.

It appears the thief was driving a burgundy or purple Dodge Neon when he crashed through the rear doors, jumped out of his car without putting it in park, grabbed the sex toy and ran over to his still-moving car before driving it through the front doors of the business, Holmes said.

As seen in the video, the paint on the car’s roof is marred, and the license plate is visible on his front dashboard in some of the footage.

The thief caused tens of thousands of dollars in damage, according to a regional supervisor for AdultMart who was supervising temporary repairs. He said the thief rammed his car through six doors and ran over $20,000 of security devices — all for a $150 sex toy.

Awesome. I don’t know what’s better. The fact that the man drove his whole car into a sex shop just to steal a sex toy and not any money, or the fact that he dropped the more expensive toy only to pick up the smaller one, then drive off. Good things come in small packages, right?