Forbes Avenue » Movies

Prince of Persia trailer– aka the Jake Gyllenhaal in brownface movie

griffn — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 13:00:28 +0000

I think it’s generally ridiculous in the year 2009 to have white people playing this far outside their race. Neither the blue-eyed Jake Gyllenhaal nor the downright pale leading lady Gemma Arterton look even remotely Middle Eastern, and no amount of makeup, wigs, or British accents (for some reason) can change that. Add to that a supporting cast of Alfred Molina (half Spanish) and Ben Kingsley (half Indian, close enough?), and you have a movie titled Prince of Persia starring no one with any heritage within 1,000 miles of Persia. Congratulations, Jerry Bruckheimer, you’re an idiot.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time in HD

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Best Halloween costume ever: Transformers edition

griffn — Sat, 31 Oct 2009 04:44:56 +0000

When I was about five or six, I trick-or-treated in a Transformers costume that was basically a plastic smock with a picture of Optimus Prime on the chest. That was the limits of our technology in the 1980s. Today, I came across this video of a Bumblebee costume that A) looks like Bumblebee, and B) actually transforms. If I had worn this back then, not only would I have been the coolest kid in school but I would have ruled the hallways for years with an iron fist.

And here’s what happens when your mom sees the above video and decides to give it a shot for you:

Thanks, Mom, but no thanks. I’d rather drop the transform feature altogether for something like this homemade costume. This definitely would’ve gotten the job done back then:

Avatar – New Extended Trailer Leaked

libchic24 — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 14:29:09 +0000

Check this out; James Cameron’s Avatar has a new extended trailer. This is a leak and my sources say that Fox is going to take it down soon so check it out now at:

http://www18.zippyshare.com/v/67549361/file.html

The movie is set to be released on December 18, 2009 for the holiday blockbuster season.

We were once a fairy tale

negrostotle — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:00:21 +0000

Kanye West commissioned Spike Jonze to do a short film. That film is called We were once a fairy tale. In true Kanye fashion…its scary.

In the film, Kanye plays himself drunk at a club acting belligerent and boastful, telling starstruck club-goers that the song playing in the club is his. He wanders into a side room where he encounters a beautiful woman. They start having sex and then he passes out on her leopard print dress. When he comes to, he finds himself in the VIP room with his pants down – he was hallucinating and fucking the pillow. The realization startles him and he rushes to the bathroom where he vomits what look like rose petals.

Then it gets weird.

Kanye finds a bowie knife in the bathroom and cuts into his stomach, spilling a torrent of more petals. He digs in the knife deeper and then with his hand rips out a small furry rodent, like a demon, only its quite cute. When Kanye realizes it’s connected to him with an umbilical cord, he pulls it hard, ripping it out of him for good. He then puts the demon on the sink and hands him a tiny bowie knife to fit the critter’s scale who then uses it to commit hari kari. (via WoooHa!)

Um…yeah. The video is below.

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Hollywood Remakes: “Beastly” Edition

negrostotle — Tue, 13 Oct 2009 18:00:28 +0000

I know, its been hours since you heard about another Hollywood remake of something. That being said, maybe you haven’t heard about Hollywood’s edgy new take on Beauty and The Beast, called “Beastly”?

Okay, only cause I love you, here’s a preview…

Yes, in case you are wondering, that is the dude from Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker I didn’t want you to waste the rest of your day wondering. Also appearing were Neil Patrick Harris (Ed. Note: Doogie! What the hell! This looks like a movie “Vinnie” should be in…didn’t you get nominated for an emmy?), Vanessa Hudgens, and Mary Kate Olsen…apparently playing Mary Kate Olsen.

Can’t wait…can’t wait…another minute.

(Yes…I am “Five-Star-ing” yall out here.)

Marlon Wayans to play Richard Pryor; Eddie Murphy out

griffn — Fri, 09 Oct 2009 12:00:59 +0000

According to Hitfix:

Last February, it appeared as though Eddie Murphy would reunite with his “Dreamgirls” director Bill Condon to bring the life story of legendary comedian Richard Pryor on the big screen. To put it bluntly, things have changed. Condon is still moving forward with “Richard Pryor,” but Murphy is out and so are potential distributors Paramount Pictures and Fox Searchlight. Instead, HitFix can confirm that Marlon Wayans has auditioned and is now in negotiations to play the iconic entertainment figure. Additionally, the film will now be produced by Adam Sandler’s Happy Madison productions at Sony Pictures.

Marlons, who is best known for his not-so serious roles in “G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra” and the “Scary Movie” series, impressed producers and executives with his dramatic audition featuring two scenes directly from the film. Condon shot the screen tests similarly to the Beyonce Knowles audition for “Dreamgirls” which was later available on the movie’s DVD. Unlike Knowles however, Wayans is no newcomer to challenging material having earned raves for his work in Darren Aronofsky’s “Requiem for a Dream” and the Coen Brothers’ “The Ladykillers.”

Ta-Nehisi Coates wanted to see Eddie Murphy give the role a shot, while Evan Narcisse is worried that Marlon Wayans will be in over his head. But I actually think casting Marlon Wayans is a fantastic turn of events for this film. First of all, Eddie Murphy looks nothing like Richard Pryor. Sorry, that’s a big deal for me. I realize Denzel looked little like Malcolm X, but it was close enough, and Denzel had the chops to make us forget all that after five minutes. Eddie doesn’t.

Second, the sight of Murphy back onstage doing stand-up– even disguised in Pryor’s trademark mustache and fro– would have had me thinking way more about Raw and Delirious than Live on the Sunset Strip. To have one stand-up comedy great play another would have been too close to home. It’d be like watching Kobe Bryant play the title role in The Michael Jordan Story. As soon as you saw Kobe dribbling down the court– shaved head or not– you’d be like, “That ain’t M.J., that’s Kobe.”

But most of all, Marlon Wayans just feels right for this role. I can definitely see him nailing the screen test. The aforementioned Requiem for a Dream (which I’ve seen) and The Ladykillers (which I haven’t) prove that he’s a talented enough actor to do it. He looks and sounds enough like Pryor to make it work and work well.

My concern though is that the movie just won’t be that good. Pryor’s life doesn’t seem to me to be the right material for a screen adaptation. I’d rather just watch him tell it in his stand-up routines. I imagine a scene with him arguing with his wife and shooting the car, another scene with him setting himself on fire, battling with drugs, going to Africa, divorcing one woman, marrying another. Okay, but where’s the arc? And how do you make audiences who aren’t that familiar with Richard Pryor interested in his life story? Come to think of it, I can’t think of one movie biopic about a comedian that was successful artistically or commercially. Jim Carrey’s Man on the Moon (the Andy Kaufman biopic) was God-awful.

My other concern is the talent behind the scenes. The film would have been better off with Paramount/Fox Searchlight than it will be with Adam Sandler’s production company. Paramount/Fox is good at putting out these types of studio-backed faux-independent dramas. Director/writer Bill Condon also throws up some red flags for me. He won an Oscar for Gods and Monsters (which I haven’t seen). Okay, but he also wrote/directed the biopic Kinsey and the film adaptation of Dreamgirls, both of which I found to be not that good. Then you add in the behind-the-scenes talent of producers Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, neither of whom is responsible for any great dramatic film work (or comedic film work for that matter) on either side of the screen.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad they’re giving Pryor’s life a shot– excited even. It’ll most likely flop commercially, but with a good script and a strong performance from Wayans, it’ll be an important piece of work for Pryor’s fans.

Transformers 3: Rise of Cultural Stereotyping

negrostotle — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 14:08:13 +0000

More than meets the slanted eye.

No, that’s not the actual tag line for the crap-fest that will be Transformers 3…but it might as well be. More on that in a minute though. For all of you transformers lovers, great news! From Michael Bay’s blog,

Well its official: We have a great Transformers 3 story. The release date is now July 1st 2011. Not 2012.

Today is Day One. This morning started with an ILM meeting for five hours in San Francisco. Currently I’m flying with writer Ehren Kruger to Rhode Island to talk to Hasbro about new characters.

P.S. Megan Fox, welcome back. I promise no alien robots will harm you in any way during the production of this motion picture. Please consult your Physician when working under my direction because some side effects can occur, such as mild dizziness, intense nausea, suicidal tendencies, depression, minor chest hair growth, random internal hemorrhaging and inability to sleep. As some directors may be hazardous to your health, please consult your Doctor to determine if this is right for you.

There may have been a failed attempt at humor in there. For those who don’t know Fox and Bay have been throwing a little hissy fit with each other, even though they’re the only two people that seem to care.

Forget that though…Transformers 3! 7/1/2011. I can hardly wait. Maybe we can have an Asian autobot that knows karate? Or a Jewish autobot that saves money? And his arch-nemesis will be a decepticon that is an American Indian that runs a casino. Yeah!

The fact that America unfortunately won’t catch on to the fact that 2 hours of CGI does not make up for a movie without a plot and with more racial stereotypes than an episode of Amos & Andy…it makes me worry about you guys juuuuuuuuuuuuusssssst a little bit.

Best Halloween costume ever: Transformers edition

Iron Man 2: Leaked Footage

negrostotle — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 17:02:48 +0000

And today we have leaked footage from the upcoming Iron Man 2 Movie, which apparently was shown at Comic-con and some how leaked its way onto the internet. Amazing how that happens, isn’t it?

Apologies to Todd McFarlane, the new Wizard of Oz will be awesome

griffn — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 13:30:41 +0000

A few weeks ago, my colleague negrostotle posted the news that Todd McFarlane was producing a darker film version of The Wizard of Oz, along with this unfortunate bit of commentary: “Hollywood’s effort to remake/destroy anything good in the past continues.” On behalf of Forbes Avenue, allow me to apologize profusely to Mr. McFarlane, because upon further review it’s clear that the new Wizard of Oz will be awesome.

First of all, the 1939 version of Wizard of Oz, despite catering to children, created the greatest fantasy world ever put on film up until Peter Jackson’s Lord of the Rings trilogy. What McFarlane wants to do is combine those two worlds:

McFarlane has a vision of Oz that is a dark, edgy and muscular PG-13, without a singing Munchkin in sight. … “My pitch was ‘How do we get people who went to ‘Lord of the Rings’ to embrace this?’” McFarlane said. “I want to create (an interpretation) that has a 2007 wow factor. You’ve still got Dorothy trapped in an odd place, but she’s much closer to the Ripley from ‘Alien’ than a helpless singing girl.”

And then there’s this. The new Wizard of Oz will be based on the Twisted Land of Oz toys that McFarlane released back in 2003. (Full disclosure: I own dozens of McFarlane’s sports figures, and Troy Polamalu, Franco Harris, and Roberto Clemente are sitting on a table in my living room as I type this. Yes, I’m a grown man.) There’s simply no way a movie containing this level of imagery and imagination can suck:

If you’re worried about Dakota Fanning playing Dorothy as a bondage queen, relax. The rumor that Fanning is playing Dorothy is false, and screenwriter Josh Olson** (A History of Violence) is toning down the toys and shooting for a more Lord of the Rings-esque PG-13.

In conclusion, we try our best to comment intelligently on a wide variety of topics here, but sometimes we get it wrong. By lumping Todd McFarlane’s Wizard of Oz in with childhood nostalgia remake trash like Transformers and G.I. Joe, we committed an egregious and careless mistake. We sincerely regret the error.

** UPDATE: Apparently, Josh Olson’s involvement in the film is more complicated than first reported. He was writing his own version of a Wizard of Oz film and never has worked on McFarlane’s, though they did share ideas briefly. Truth be told, this is kind of a relief ’cause I didn’t think A History of Violence was all that good.

Note to Rolling Stone: Megan Fox is not sexy

griffn — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 13:00:52 +0000

So Rolling Stone just put Megan Fox on its cover and declared her “America’s Sexiest Bad Girl.” Only problem: Megan Fox is not sexy. No doubt, she’s physically attractive, she’s clearly comfortable expressing her sexuality, and I’m all for all that. But that vibe she gives off is definitely not sexy. It’s more like attention-seeking desperation from a woman who thinks she has little more to offer the world than a pretty face and low inhibitions.

Granted, I haven’t been paying attention that closely, but based on every interview I’ve ever seen her give, it’s clear that Megan Fox’s number one concern in life is that everyone knows how sexy she is. That’s not sexy.

And her film career isn’t much different. One of her first film gigs was as an extra in Bad Boys 2 playing “Stars-and-Stripes Bikini Kid Dancing Under Waterfall,” and it’s somehow been downhill from there. Rolling Stone describes her latest role in the upcoming film Jennifer’s Body as “a demon-girl who literally devours her horny high school classmates and engages in the most anticipated girl-on-girl make-out scene of the year.” Megan Fox is not America’s Sexiest Bad Girl, she’s America’s Girl in the Bar Pouring Beer on Her Shirt and Giving Lap Dances to Other Girls So All the Guys Will Watch.

Here are some other unsexy things Megan Fox has done:

▪ She rewarded director Michael Bay (you know, the guy who took her from complete obscurity to movie stardom when he gave her a lead role in his Transformers franchise) by saying he was “like Hitler” but “with no social skills at all.”

▪ She’s threatened to kill her boyfriend: “I’ve had to say to Brian, ‘You have to go and stop talking to me, because I’m going to kill you. I’m going to stab you with something. Please leave.’” Fox said. “I’d never own a gun for that reason. I wouldn’t shoot to kill. But I would shoot him in the leg, for sure.”

▪ In the new Rolling Stone, she is quoted as saying, “Men are scared of vaginas.” First, that might be the douchiest statement ever made about vaginas. Second, it’s not true. As a rule, guys generally don’t put their penises inside things they’re scared of. Men aren’t afraid of vaginas, we’re afraid of getting stabbed by the owners of said vaginas.

▪ She got this creepy picture of Marilyn Monroe’s face tattooed on her arm in a bit of misguided celebrity worship that’s about half a step away from all those bad Obama tattoos:

▪ According to an open letter to Megan Fox by the crew of Transformers:

On our first day in Egypt, the Egyptian government wouldn’t let us shoot because of a permit problem as the actors got ready in make up at the Four Seasons Hotel. Michael tried to make the best of it; he wanted to take the cast and crew on a private tour of the famous Giza pyramids. God hold us witness, Megan said, “I can’t believe Michael is fucking forcing us to go to the fucking pyramids!”

It’s not even important whether or not she actually said that. What’s important is that you get the overwhelming sense that she’s perfectly capable of saying something like that.

So, yeah, Rolling Stone, raise your standards please. I expect this kind of nonsense from Maxim and all those other soft-core men’s rags, but Rolling Stone is smarter than this. Megan Fox is America’s Sexiest Bad Girl the way Sarah Palin is America’s Folksiest Politician. Just because they think they are and just because their entire career depends on them convincing us they are, doesn’t make it so.