If your life depended on music sales and a group holding the #1 spot for consecutive weeks…would you call on the Black Eyed Peas?

Music, You are dead to me.  Why? because you and the collective American public have allowed the Black Eyed Peas, known for such lyrical masterpieces as “Don’t Phunk Wit My Heart” & “Hey Mama” to not only have a #1 record in the first place (first mistake) but to set the record for most weeks at #1 by a group (music hates me.)

WTF.

From Yahoo! Music,

This week the foursome, who have had their share of critics, will have topped Billboard’s Hot 100 singles charts for 20 consecutive weeks, the most ever by an act. “Boom Boom Pow” and the song that dislodged it, “I Gotta Feeling,” have been at the top of the charts for 12 and eight weeks, respectively.

Though the band has had big hits over the years, “Boom Boom Pow” was their first No. 1 single. Will.i.am says he’s surprised how successful the song became.

“I knew that `Boom Boom Pow’ would be big in the clubs, but I didn’t know it would be that potent with the world, outside of the club. So that my accountant’s aunt would be like: Black Eyed Peas, I love `Boom Boom Pow!’” he laughed. “I didn’t know it was going to be that. I didn’t know that teachers would say I like `Boom Boom Pow.’”

“Boom Boom Pow” and “I Gotta Feeling” have sold 3.8 million and 2.1 million digital downloads, respectively, according to Nielsen SoundScan. The band’s CD, “The E.N.D.,” is nearly platinum, selling over 900,000 units since its June release.

WTF.

Seriously? Did this really just happen?  I haven’t even had the pleasure of listening to “I Gotta Feeling” but I’m sure its worthy of its 8 weeks at #1 status.  With all of these great musicians throughout the course of history; Michael, Elvis, The Beatles, Rolling Stones, Prince, pre-crack Whitney Houston…did America really just choose to honor a group where the girl R&B singer drops the best rap verse on the whole song?!?

I like that Boom, Boom, Pow/Those chickens jockin my style/they try to copy my swagga/I’m on that next shit now/I’m so 3008, you’re so 2000 and late/I got that Boom, Boom, Boom, that future Boom, Boom, Boom

Everyone in that group recognized that the verse was so good in comparison that they repeat it twice in the song…Does no one see anything wrong with this?

Lets go inside the head of one of the non-Fergie Black Eyed Pea members.

Damn…Fergie is an R&B singer. And her rap verse is shitting on mine.

SHITTING ON MINE.

Did I really just say “Cybertron” then basically copy what Kanye says in that “Stronger” song? Did I write that? Damn.

Oh shit son! Did Fergie just say “I’m so 3008, you’re so 2000 and late!” AWW Snap. Fergie is going to get us a rap grammy if she keeps spitting like this.

Ah…we set the record for most weeks at number 1 by a group? Nice. I know they couldn’t have done it without me. I be contributing up in this bitch….”I’m so 3008, you’re so…” Man, that line always gets stuck in my head. Damn your catchy lyrics Fergie!

…Hmm…I wonder if Fergie can ghost write for me for our next album?

And the worst part is they used to actually rap…

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