Forbes Avenue » Kanye West

Good Morning Forbes — Kanye West/Taylor Swift Edition

negrostotle — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 12:00:45 +0000

Halloween is over, yes. Ask me if I care. (via wwtdd.com)

You know what decreases from bloggers (and writers in general) credibility? Not knowing what the hell you’re talking about and then getting put on blast on national TV.

Thursday night football is back…Check the schedule.

Kissing. Developed to spread germs. Go figure.

Quite possibly the most awesome post ever on Gunaxin…a tribute to Beaker.

Good Morning Forbes.

We were once a fairy tale

negrostotle — Tue, 20 Oct 2009 15:00:21 +0000

Kanye West commissioned Spike Jonze to do a short film. That film is called We were once a fairy tale. In true Kanye fashion…its scary.

In the film, Kanye plays himself drunk at a club acting belligerent and boastful, telling starstruck club-goers that the song playing in the club is his. He wanders into a side room where he encounters a beautiful woman. They start having sex and then he passes out on her leopard print dress. When he comes to, he finds himself in the VIP room with his pants down – he was hallucinating and fucking the pillow. The realization startles him and he rushes to the bathroom where he vomits what look like rose petals.

Then it gets weird.

Kanye finds a bowie knife in the bathroom and cuts into his stomach, spilling a torrent of more petals. He digs in the knife deeper and then with his hand rips out a small furry rodent, like a demon, only its quite cute. When Kanye realizes it’s connected to him with an umbilical cord, he pulls it hard, ripping it out of him for good. He then puts the demon on the sink and hands him a tiny bowie knife to fit the critter’s scale who then uses it to commit hari kari. (via WoooHa!)

Um…yeah. The video is below.

No related posts.

Good Morning Forbes

negrostotle — Fri, 02 Oct 2009 11:00:04 +0000

Common is bringing back Kanye West and No I.D. for his next album. I think I can speak for everyone when I say…Thank Goodness. (I love the Neptunes…but Neptunes and Common together? not so much)

A first look at the cast of the new A-Team movie.

YMCA…as performed by the members of mortal kombat.

Mike Blower. You will never see a sports prediction better than this.

David Letterman got caught dipping his pen in the company ink and someone at CBS tried to extort $2 million from him over it. TMZ has the video of his on-air confession.

Kanye West and Lady Gaga’s “Fame Kills” tour has been canceled before it ever started.

How crazy is the Raiders organization? They’re now calling Rich Gannon a terrorist. Seriously.

Good Morning Forbes

The new Kanye West Photoshop meme

griffn — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 06:59:16 +0000

Here is officially the best thing that will ever come out of this whole VMA mess, the new Kanye Photoshop meme:

The Interweb moves fast:

And my personal favorite:

Obama calls Kanye West a “jackass”

griffn — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 06:44:41 +0000

This is incredible to me:

ABC News reporter Terry Moran caused quite a commotion tonight on Twitter after writing the following: “Pres. Obama just called Kanye West a “jackass” for his outburst at VMAs when Taylor Swift won. Now THAT’S presidential.”

Although it wasn’t long before Moran removed it, with over a million followers, the tweet quickly bounced around Twitter through various users. (And it can still be found here).

Now, an ABC spokesperson explains to POLITICO what happened:

In the process of reporting on remarks by President Obama that were made during a CNBC interview, ABC News employees prematurely tweeted a portion of those remarks that turned out to be from an off-the-record portion of the interview. This was done before our editorial process had been completed. That was wrong. We apologize to the White House and CNBC and are taking steps to ensure that it will not happen again.

I think deep down Kanye is a fragile guy who uses the bravado to hide insecurity, and a comment like that from the president is going to sting. I also think the VMAs are half a step up from the Kids Choice Awards and everyone is taking this whole thing way too seriously. As for Obama, maybe he should train some of that fire away from pop stars and onto the obstructionist Republicans he keeps rolling over for. I don’t know what Obama says to reporters off the record, but I’d be surprised if he’s ever called Glenn Beck a jackass in public. He tends to be very careful about not offending the people who will never, ever vote for him.

Joe Wilson, Kanye West, and conservative priorities

griffn — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 00:08:02 +0000

Just so we’re clear on conservative priorities…

White man interrupts the President of the United States during a nationally-televised speech to Congress: not so bad. Black man interrupts pop singer during speech to fake awards show audience on cable television: kind of a big deal. I’m not saying Kanye isn’t a jerk, I’m just saying relax, everybody. It’s not that serious.

By the way, my favorite defense of Joe Wilson:

But is this actually the worst of times in congressional politics? Not really. When the going gets tough, congressional politics has often gotten ugly. Throughout much of the 19th century, legislators disliked each other so much they often got into fistfights on the floor.

Yeah, also throughout much of the 19th century: slavery. So is the 19th century really the best barometer for modern-day values and etiquette?

In conclusion, this might be the greatest sub-15-second YouTube video ever:

Jay-Z “Run This Town” Video

negrostotle — Thu, 20 Aug 2009 04:11:41 +0000

Jay-Z ft. Rihanna & Kanye West — Run This Town.

The video apparently just leaked.

via Soul Culture

Your favorite rapper as a basketball player

negrostotle — Thu, 06 Aug 2009 15:42:51 +0000

I had been toying with this post idea for the last couple days, and then once I saw that Drizzy Drake’s knee had its own Twitter page, I knew it had to be done…

The connection between rappers and basketball is almost intrinsic in nature. A lot of basketball players love to rap, and love the connection with rap. Some of them even put out really subpar albums which do nothing more than make you love and appreciate their basketball abilities even more. Example?

The beats, my mash, jam you for the platinum you have
Run it, the illest, watch me become it
I’m here, and took it bowling, like straight to the wig
Speak truth like kids, tell you what you don’t know
Kobe? Yeah, he’s real with the flow
Kick in the do’ wavin’ the flow-flow
All you heard was stop, can’t take the hits no more

…yes, that was Kobe Bryant. And yes, that was probably even partially ghost-written…and that’s still what they decided to record. Not to think its one-sided, rappers also think they can play basketball…well. They are mistaken. Whenever there’s doubt as to whether or not Jennifer Love Hewitt has a better jumper than Jay-Z? yeah.

You can’t deny the connection, so lets take it one step further. What if your favorite rapper actually became a basketball player? Who would they be? I’m glad you asked…

1. Drake is Greg Oden

Why are they alike?

Come on man…this one is too easy! Both have/had a lot of buzz built up before they ever did anything significant. Drake’s So Far Gone mixtape got him signed by Lil Wayne and has him working with the likes of Jay-Z and Mary J. Blige. Greg Oden, who had already been a McDonalds All-American and Gatorade National Player of the Year, made the most of his one year of college at The Ohio State University. During his tenure, Oden led his team to the NCAA championship, while also receiving the individual honor of being named a 2nd team All-American. His buzz landed him at the top of many NBA draft boards and he was taken as the #1 pick in the 2007 NBA draft.

Then, before either person could really begin to make their impact, injuries set in. Drake tore his ACL, MCL, and LCL, (because who wants to half-ass an injury?) which had been keeping the rapper from doing proper press for his album, even though he had still been performing (via a stool). To make matters worse, he re-injured the knee just a few days ago. Greg Oden, on the other hand, needed microfracture surgery on his knee before he was even able to begin his 2007 rookie campaign, having injured the knee in summer league competition.

Summation?

Both of those dudes are as frail as Sam Jackson in Unbreakable. Every body, right or wrong, thinks they’re going to be great, but they can’t stay healthy long enough to prove anybody right. They’re like brothers! Or maybe father and son…cause Greg Oden is still at least 48 years old.

2. Jay-Z is Michael Jordan

Why are they alike?

Both of these guys are arguably the greatest at their respective jobs. Hov owned summer for 8 or 9 years straight, pretty much crushing any competition in the rap game in terms of sales. Jordan on the other hand was equally great, and made great NBA players like Ewing, Barkley, and Malone wish that they were playing football as opposed to basketball, because MJ would never let them win any championships.

Then? they retired.

Then? they came back and everybody was like…Meh. Jordan came back with the Washington Wizards (Skip over the baseball comeback), and we quickly realized that MJ wasn’t quite the same. Those gliding dunks that gave him the name “Air Jordan” had been replaced by fade away jump shots. That outstanding 1-on-1 defense? Yeah, that turned into a lot of “I’ll force him one way, interior help defense”. Hov came back with his own version of the fade away jump shot, the album Kingdom Come. Suddenly everybody remembered that dude was like 40 years old, a multi-millionaire and wasn’t really rapping about anything that anyone under 30 could relate to (going somewhere with no mosquitoes? really Hov? Who else listening to the album can do that?)

Summation?

Jay-Z and Michael Jordan are arguably the greatest at what they did/used to do. Furthermore, they both decided to come back maybe a little too far past their prime, possibly “Favre-ing” their legacies for future generations.

3. Kanye West is Lebron James

Why are they alike?

One word…”ego”. Both men have enough ego to fuel a small country. Sure, it turned out to be a hoax, but last week when the rumor went around that Kanye West was calling himself the king of pop? Everyone’s first thought isn’t whether or not he said it, but how harshly he should be judged for saying it. And what about King James? Well, the fact that he walked around wearing this shirt, after the basketball season was over may be a small indication.

I got a big ego…such a big ego…

Don’t forget to add to the fact that both guys are arguably considered the first or second best in the respective professions. Also remember that they’re doing things that no one else has ever seen (has anyone ever seen a guard/forward combo like LeBron? has any rapper ever made, for better or worse, an album like Love Lockdown?).

Summation?

Egomaniacs who are hell bent on being the best. That sounds like an old James Bond villain, but in reality it describes Mr. West and King James.

4. ODB used to be Ron Artest

Why are they alike?

Pure insanity. At least, that’s the perception. Ron Artest is the short fused, in-stands fighting, mohawk wearing, Tru Warrior rapping, friends staked like Dracula, poster boy for everything David Stern probably hates about the NBA. Ever since the incident with the Pacers, Artest has always seemed volatile; like any wrong move could set him off and lead him into doing something crazy. And Old Dirty Bastard? he quite possibly might be crazier than Artest. Any time you’re willing to take your kids with you to pick up your welfare check with MTV filming? and while you have an album is still in the top 10? You might be a little off. To 1-up that move, lets not forget what he said after he lost to Diddy at the 1998 Grammy awards,

“Please calm down, the music and everything. It’s nice that I went and bought me an outfit today that costed a lot of money today, you know what I mean? ‘Cause I figured that Wu-Tang was gonna win. I don’t know how you all see it, but when it comes to the children, Wu-Tang is for the children. We teach the children. You know what I mean? Puffy is good, but Wu-Tang is the best, Okay? I want you all to know that this is ODB, and

I love you all. Peace!”

Yeah, Wu-Tang is for the kids. That’s definitely true. Did I mention that ODB changed his name to Big Baby Jesus? yeah.

Summation?

These guys are alike because you never know what you’ll get from them. They might run in the stands and start a fight or try to defraud the government out of money. They might recount the night their best friend, who is a vampire, was killed, or change their name in order to channel the Messiah. You just never know what you’ll get.

5. Eminem is Larry Bird

Why are they alike?

Its the “great white hope” argument. In a world dominated by non-white people (rap and basketball) one great white superstar comes along and becomes the beacon upon which white people pin their hope, and to whom all future white stars are compared (ask this guy what I’m talking about). Any white kid that has any semblance of a jump shot will immediately draw comparisons to Larry Legend, in part because he was the last really good white guy to which comparisons can be made. Sure, you may get the occasional Pistol Pete comparison…but that was 40 years ago now. If you’re keeping it recent, you’re going to Bird. Its the same deal with Eminem. A white rapper could do all of his rhymes backwards, or purposely try to sound like another rapper and they’d still draw comparison to Eminem; that’s just how the game goes.

To keep the analogy going, lets look at later in their careers. They both have made and continue to make moves which baffle their fans, and anyone that possesses the slightest bit of common sense. Eminem is wasting his talent by battling female R&B singers, while Bird has spent the last few years stockpiling mediocre players who he hopes might be the next Larry Bird. Mike Dunleavy, Jeff Foster, Josh McRoberts, Troy Murphy, Tyler Hansborough…its like there’s some reverse affirmative action thing going on and Bird wants to really err on the side of caution.

Summation?

Definitely the best white rapper ever, and arguably one of the best white basketball players ever. Great. White. Hope. ’nuff said.

6. LL Cool J and anyone who played basketball for too long

Nothing to say here. Maybe its Mutumbo, maybe its Kevin Willis, or Karl Malone…whoever. I think the point I’m trying to make here is that LL Cool J needs to retire. Moving on…

7. Memphis Bleek is Harold Miner

Why are they alike?

If the first thing you thought when you read this is, “who”? Then you actually get my point. Both of these guys were anointed the next messiah when they stepped on the scene and both miserably failed to live up to expectations. You may remember Memphis Bleek as Jay-Z’s protege and from such hits as “those Jay-Z songs where he did a guest verse”. It’s pretty apparent to everyone that you aren’t the second coming when your mentor says,

“Bleek can be one hit away his whole career, as long as I’m alive he’s a millionaire” — Jay-Z

How bad did it get? Well…there was the whole Garnier Fructis Shampoo commercial…

Which brings us to Harold Miner. As if being able to dominate in the NBA wasn’t hard enough, people apparently decided to take it a step further and give Miner a nickname which included the greatest basketball player of all time (”Baby Jordan”). That in and of itself is bad, but its so much worse when you consider the only reason he got that name was because of his dunking ability. Things didn’t quite go as planned for baby jordan, as he only averaged 9.0pts a game over a 4 year NBA career. But he did win 2 slam dunk contests…so, uh, hang your hat on that.

Have some others? disagree? leave it in the comments…or wait for part 2.

Eminem is too corny for words

griffn — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 20:10:26 +0000

So in case you missed it, Eminem is clapping at Mariah Carey and Nick Cannon now with a new song titled “The Warning.” Add them to the long list of pop singers, celebrities, and other lightweights that Em has “battled.” Here’s the Cliff’s Notes on Em’s new beef:

The feud between the two began earlier this year after Eminem namedropped Carey in the track “Bagpipes From Baghdad” from his latest album Relapse. “Mariah whatever happened to us / Why did we ever have to break-up?” he rapped. “Nick Cannon, you better back the f— up. I’m not playing, I want her back, you punk.”

Cannon later shot back on his blog, calling the rapper (who goes by the name “Slim Shady”) “Slim Lamey.” He added that Eminem is “still obsessed with my wife, the same female that wouldn’t let him get to second base from 8 years ago.” A month or so later, Carey got the last laugh by mocking Eminem in “Obsessed.”

And here’s the latest round– Em’s new song, “The Warning,” where he threatens to release sexually explicit photos and voice mails from the days when he and Mariah were messing around. Apparently, he’s not embarrassed about the fact that they dated for six months and he hit once. And busted early. Where I come from, that’s an L.

I remember back when rappers used to battle other rappers. I remember when they used to call out politicians and other powerful figures on record– think of Pac’s beef with C. Delores Tucker or Kanye going off script at that Katrina telethon to call out Bush. Eminem is one of the most technically gifted rappers in history, yet he has decided instead to build his reputation by going after Christina Aguilera and Kim Kardashian. Maybe he needs to stop browsing the magazines at the supermarket checkout line so hard and getting his feelings hurt. He definitely needs to stop dropping diss records on every female in Hollywood who he can’t get to sex him.

In 1995, Biggie released a track called “Warning” as a B-side to his “Big Poppa” single. It went something like this:

Call the coroner
There’s gonna be a lot of slow singin’, and flower bringin’
If my burglar alarm starts ringin’

Whatcha think all the guns is for?
All purpose war, got the Rottweilers by the door
And I feed ‘em gunpowder, so they can devour
The criminals, tryin’ to drop my decimals

Damn, niggas wanna stick my for my cream
And it ain’t a dream, things ain’t always what it seem
It’s the ones that smoke blunts witcha, see your picture
Now they wanna grab the guns and come and getcha

In 2009, this is the new “Warning,” courtesy of TMZ Us Weekly Eminem:

Yeah, what you gonna say? I’m lucky?
Tell the public that I was so ugly that you f***ing had to be drunk to f*** me?
Second base? What the f*** you tell Nick, punk?
In the second week we was dry humping. It’s gotta count for something.

Dry humping? Yeah. Hip-hop is deader than Michael Jackson.

UPDATE: I’ve been thinking about whether or not Nick Cannon should respond to this. On the one hand, he’s a grown man with a family and a 9-5 now (don’t sleep, America’s Got Talent is serious money). I assure you, he has better things to do than deal with this playground nonsense. On the other hand, he’s got some dude calling his wife out her name. It’s not easy to let something like that ride.

But at the end of the day, this is the bottom line: Nick is sexing Mariah Carey and Eminem isn’t. And Em mad about it. That’s game, set, match right there, no matter how this all plays out. I don’t care if Eminem got pictures of Mariah’s fallopian tubes, he lost already.

Is Kanye West is the new King of Pop? Kanye West thinks so

griffn — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 14:28:18 +0000

The new King of Pop is Kanye West, according to sources named Kanye West. Apparently, this was said a month ago– on June 29– but Bossip picked it up off an obscure website yesterday, and it’s just now making the rounds on the blogosphere. It should be noted that there are some doubts that this story is for real. But there are also some legit publications running with this, publications that have a better fact-checking department than we do. Anyway, here’s Kanye on Kanye:

“You know everyone loves and respects Michael but times change. It’s so sad to see Michael gone but it makes a path for a new King of Pop and I’m willing to take that on. There’s nobody who can match me in sales and in respect so it only makes sense for me to take over Michael’s crown and become the new King,” said West. “First there was Elvis, then there was Michael, now in the 21st century its Kanye’s time to rule. I have nothing but respect for Michael but someone needs to pick up where he left off and there’s nobody better than me to do that. I am the new King of Pop.” …

West has reportedly tried to make contact with members of the Jackson clan to obtain official permission to use the title but has thus far received no response. It is believed the family is mourning the death of their loved one and have given little thought to the line of succession.

I promise you, I Googled and re-Googled this, I even checked Snopes, because I just can’t believe this nonsense went down four days after Michael Jackson’s death. On June 29, I was still in a daze, with Human Nature playing on a loop on my laptop. Apparently, Kanye was busy phoning the Jackson family in the midst of their funeral arrangements to lay claim to a fake title. Put that autopsy on hold and wipe away those tears, Janet, I’m calling you to confirm that I’m the new Mayor of Munchkin City.

It’s true that Mike likely bestowed the title King of Pop on himself (according to his Wikipedia entry, Elizabeth Taylor popularized the term at an awards ceremony). But when he did it, it was already obvious that he was. There were no challengers. No one had the ammo to say, “Yeah, you made Off the Wall, Thriller, and Bad, but I made…” When Michael Jackson took the King of Pop title in the late ‘80s, everyone’s reaction was, “Oh. Well, yeah, obviously.”

Which brings me to the King of Pop Rule for all future applicants: If it isn’t obviously apparent who the King of Pop is, then there isn’t one. This isn’t a title that should be awarded by default; I say Mike keeps the title until someone takes it from him. And that someone is not Kanye West– a talented rapper and performer (though not the best in the biz at either), but a horrific singer, even with the aid of Auto-Tune.

True story: I downloaded Love Lockdown (*cough* legally) back when that song was blowing up the air waves. I listened to it for ten seconds and stopped. Kanye was so badly out of tune, I literally thought I had downloaded an MP3 of some dude singing in his basement and trying to get some shine by labeling his song under Kanye’s name. I went back and downloaded another (*cough* legal) version of it and it sounded exactly the same. Slowly, the realization hit me. Kanye West is a really terrible singer, and we simply do not have the technology to fix it.

Anyway, back to the King of Pop title. Some people think it’s Usher. Chris Brown’s name was thrown around the discussion before he threw Rihanna around his car. I think Justin Timberlake has a legit claim to the throne– if the ladies and gentleman of the jury would consider his brilliant musical and comedic work on Saturday Night Live. But if we’re being serious, the new King of Pop is most likely a Queen of Pop. ‘Cause Beyonce is probably the most current artist who’s even approaching the sales and swagger and artistic diversity of Michael Jackson. But is she “Oh. Well, yeah, obviously” the Queen of Pop? Not as long as Whitney Houston and Mariah Carey are alive.